Best Wishes to a Stalwart Trio of Gentlemen

So I had a classic (and delicious, gravy-smothered, needless to say) Southern breakfast in Memphis this morning with the lovely Sherlockian Tim Greer. We all know Tim is a stalwart gentleman and a scholar. But by the time three in the afternoon occurred and I was checked in here in Minnesota, I was ravenous, and plenty more excitement had happened. Therefore, as I type this, I am eating soup like the soup fiend I am. Three soups. They have a SOUP TRIO here.

I sat on the plane this morning next to a very nice professional gent from Arkansas traveling for business who had never flown before in his life. Or been on a train or left the South. He was being exceedingly brave about the fact that every time the plane banked or vibrated, he was pretty sure death was imminent. I thus proceeded to talk almost nonstop about life, the universe, everything, New York, cats, his upcoming conference, Dave Chapelle's mutually appreciated comedy, etc, because when he laughed he seemed to forget we could crash and burn at any moment. What a badass this guy was, looking downward at clouds for the first time and actively deciding not to lose it. Inspiring. Totally badass. My head would have blown up like a skyscraper-tossed watermelon.

Next I wandered downstairs in Minneapolis at my hotel and encountered a disabled veteran who was searching all over the lobby for anyone who would lend him a phone because he just lost his on the back of a bus. I knew it was stupid to believe this story, and did not want to lose my phone as well, but I did agree because I sensed he was telling the truth.  Awesome guy. After ten minutes on my phone, he found his lost one via customer service and took off for the location four blocks away where the bus would next stop. He said his whole life was on that phone. I would have been crying my eyes out in that situation on this tour. What a badass.

I thank all three of these fellas for reminding me that I am not about to perish just because I am traveling so much, and being great examples of calm in the eye of the storm. Also, this whole soup trio thing I'm sampling is in every way perfect. 

Welcome to My New Website!

Welcome, kittens!

I wanted the first post for this new blog to be all spangly and unicorn-colored, with sage writing tips spewing forth in a rich Pilgrim-style cornucopia, with a sexy new recipe maybe titled “Hucklecherries: They Are Totally a Thing No Really They Are and How to Use Them,” followed by perhaps my picks of designer dresses for spring and ending with a Steve Martin quote.

Well, screw all that noise because I am tired.  The best I can tell you is that it's ramp season.  Did you know it's ramp season?  Go fetch you some ramps and eat them up.

I should amend that to “excited and tired” (to be sung in the style of Little Red from Into the Woods) because THE FATAL FLAME launches on May 12 (finally, can I get an amen?), and the weeks surrounding the national tour are packed with events.  It is a time of many interviews and much talk of copper stars.  It is a time of telling myself to eat only vegetables because I know I can’t get any in the Houston airport and then eating peanut butter straight from the jar with pepper cracked on it.  It is a time of typing many editorials and trying to remember how many times I’ve previously compared Tammany Hall to a super PAC.  It is a time of trying to figure out how we can get rid of Ted Cruz, because I am never not wondering how best to get rid of Ted Cruz.

So instead of imparting all the wisdom contained in a single follicle of Neil Gaiman’s hair in this post (which is approximately how much wisdom I have, incidentally), I will simply say: welcome, and please tell me if you want me to cover any topics herein.  There are plenty of ways to contact me on this new page, and I am always up for discussing what friends and arch-enemies and readers want to know.  Tweet at me, message me, send me a carrier pigeon, and I will do my best to make this blog work for you.

Thanks for visiting!